494.

I'm happy yet sad and disappointed today.

Happy cause it has been a long long time since i've had such a feeling. In case you are wondering what kind of feeling, it's like secondary-school-crush-when-you-will-just-blush-with-the-sight-of-him that kind of feeling. Okay its a bit long but its understandable right. But yet its not that simple, its not those puppy love kind of crush, just something different and it really warmths me. I think it has been 2 years plus since i had that kind of feeling which is before my very first relationship.

Sad and disappointed cause i think i might not be in the main 6 of my volleyball team anymore. 2 j2 girls came for training today, i know one of them cause she came for training last year but she decided to go for table tennis for her personal reasons. I tried very hard to get her back last year but she just didnt want to join volleyball. Both of them were from jurong secondary and they have experience in playing volleyball so i think coach will do the practical thing and place them in the main six (they are most probably staying in volleyball). So the "not-so-confirmed" team is jo, zhenhui, sam (new), huifang (new), jasmine plus one more player which we dont know who coach will choose. But i seriously think hidayah has a higher chance than me because she played volleyball when she was in primary school and she is our setter. BUT everything is not confirmed yet cause coach is still deciding on who's in the main six and where should our postitions be. I've really trained hard since i've stepped in IJC cause i really really want to be in the main 6. Its understandable cause who doesnt want IJC to win? So its reality that better players get to be in the main 6. In irony, skills is not everything because the team must have the BONDING which we already have and there's only so much time for both of them to actually bond with the team well. SO i have to buck up for these upcoming trainings, i really want to have the chance to contribute and show that i can DO IT! I believe that the team trusts me with the ball.

*To hidayah dear,
Please dont be sad, its part and parcel of life. I had to accept it that i might be a substitute this year and i truely believe that you have a higher chance to play in the main 6! We shall work hard together okay! No matter what positions we have to play, we are contributing to the team afterall. Love <3

*To zhenhui,
Thanks for consoling me, i think i will not take it too hard cause its for the team's good. Though i really want to contribute to the team by playing in the main 6. And i would love to pursue vball when i'm in university so there are chances for me out there after IJC too. But i will still continue to strive for all the trainings before A Divisions, i believe there's still hope that i might be able to play for the team. *hearts

*To jo,
Thanks for encouraging me during matches and consoling me just now. Everyone will get our off days, NO WORRIES! You are still the best okay! Must believe! No words can describe how much THREESOME love is. LOVES YOU.

*To mel,
You were really damn chill about it. You go girl! But you seriously improved A LOT since last year, really happy to have a team mate like you. No worries when we cant get the ball, i had my days too. Staying optimistic is really the key to winning the game. ("v")

*To jasmine,
BABY! So happy that you really clicked well with us and i seriously think that you bond really well with the team during games. Though i might not be playing with you during the A Divisions but you still must JIA YOU okay! ACT HAO XING! =p *smoochies

*To tam,
Though you didnt get to play much during friendly matches you still do play in a part in the team. You are still one of us. Dont say stuff like "I go there also no use cause i wont play." your presence is important too. And when you encourage us, we feel good about it. No worries okay, i've been through that period of time last year too. Everyone has to go through it. =)

Volleyball girls are just the BEST of the BEST of the BEST BEST BEST! You guys made me truely understand how the feeling is like to have a close knitted group of girlfriends, cause i used to hang out with guys all the time. We talk about anything and everything, best part is only we get to enjoy all the gossips. You guys were there for me when i was depressed too. There's just too much that we have been through, i cant say it all. THANKS GIRLS! INNOVA GIRLS! ACE!

v("P) vena